Introduction to Hockey Culture as a New Parent and Player

Introduction to Hockey Culture as a New Parent and Player

[SECTION: For Parents] Hockey is my way or the highway. That's the first thing you need to understand as a new parent in the sport. The culture isn't like the outside world. It doesn't operate by the same rules you might expect from a business or a typical customer service interaction.

The coaches you'll meet in the early stages, almost always, never really made it to the higher levels of the game. Their idea of what hockey truly is comes from their playing experience, which is very different from what the sport demands at elite levels. This isn't a knock on them; it's just a reality check for you. They have a certain vision, a fantasy of what the sport is, and they often treat it like gladiator training without ever having trained to be a gladiator themselves.

What you do as a new family in the sport can haunt you for the rest of your player’s career.

Hockey isn't a business in the way you understand it. It’s usually a single person or a small group running a program. They played to a certain level, but they are not administrators. They didn't go to school to be a business owner or manager, and they often don't understand customer service in the way you would expect. Don't go into this expecting to be treated like a paying client in a typical service industry.

Your family’s reputation starts the minute you step into the rink. What you do, how you interact, and the attitude you project can follow your player for years. A coach who starts with an 8U team could easily end up being the 18U AAA coach taking calls from scouts. Most of these coaches will never forget their experience with you, even at the 8U level. If you treat them poorly, it comes back to bite you.

The most important thing you can do is treat every coach like they will be the one who gets your player that D1 scholarship or pro tryout. Respect their role, their time, and their passion for the game, regardless of your personal opinion of their methods. You don't have to agree with every drill or every decision, but you always have to show respect.

Unfortunately, there aren't many formal mentorships for new parents or coaches in hockey. But you're not alone. Almost every team has some parents with older players who have been through the system. Don’t be afraid to lean on those parents and ask questions. Most of the time, people are very willing to help you navigate the unwritten rules.

You should also get to know the Hockey Directors if possible. They are typically very good people who genuinely want the best for your player. If they run clinics or offer private lessons, consider arranging sessions for your player. This helps your player become familiar with the person making key decisions about their future within the organization. It builds a positive connection.

Even if you don't like the way a practice is run, or you disagree with a coach's strategy, teach your player to respect who they are and what they're doing. That respect, coming from your player, can go a long way in building a positive relationship with the coaching staff and the program leadership. Your player’s attitude and effort will speak volumes.